We’re All in Different Places, And That’s Okay

Sometimes it can be difficult to resist the impulse not to put people in a box. For most of us, sizing people up and then applying the labels we feel best characterizes them is such an ingrain habit that parting from this tendency requires an extraordinary amount of diligence and attention from us. For my efforts, along this line, I try to stay mindful of the truth that not only do people have the capacity to change, that people actually do change and are in fact constantly changing all the time. Nothing in the universe stays the same from one moment to the next. Everything is in perpetual motion. All souls are in growth. Still I find it wise not to expect more from another person than what past experience has shown me to be typical for them. My reason for this, however, is not cynicism. My reasoning is I’d rather set myself up to be pleasantly surprised when and if expectations are exceeded, than set myself up to be grossly disappointed, annoyed, aggravated or whatever have you, if expectations fall short. Because while I recognize that it is indeed true that all souls are in growth, I can also appreciate that the rate at which that growth is developing may, perhaps, be exceedingly slow.

We’re all in different places. And over time I have come to realize that it is not my job to try to make others conform to the life outlook I would have for them. It is a modern truism that people are going to do, what people are going to do; and I, in my experience, have had to come to terms with the fact that I have absolutely no control over another person. I have come to realize that the only person I do in fact have control over, and this control is absolute, is me. So while I may and most certainly do influence other people, I’ve learned from experience that it is best not to use this influence in an effort to intentionally manipulate another. The job of changing other people is not my place. People must be inspired to change out of the lessons learned from their own experience. Everybody has their own lesson plan in life. And God, that All imbuing, All wise, All loving, indelible presence within each of us is both the beginning and the end realization of all these plans. Everything emerges from a single Source. And in the end, All things resolve back to this Source. Nothing, truly, goes off course. Nothing is ever really lost to love and goodness. Even those things which, from our limited point of view, seem to have gone astray, are actually exactly where they need to be in the Grand scheme of things.

God, being infinite, demonstrates His limitlessness through the diversity we see playing out in the universe. So even though goodness, and love, and wisdom, etc. is the ultimate Truth, demonstrations of every degree of even ultimate qualities must be played out in life. If this were not so, infiniteness would in fact be limited. In other words, not only must goodness have expression in life, but evil (which is merely a lesser degree of goodness) must be expressed as well. The same is true of love and hate, wisdom and ignorance, power and impotence, and on and on. It is part and parcel of the principle of polarity. Everything has its opposite. And all opposites are identical in nature, varying only in degree. Like and unlike are essentially the same. And even though all qualities are not absolute, all qualities are valid expressions of The One (infinite God).

So my advice to myself has been: be supportive of those who reach out for a hand from you, but recognize that it is not part of your life’s work to go on a crusade to change those who choose to follow a path which is not in agreement with yours. Live and let be. Know that it will all come to good in the end. We are all in different places in life, and that’s exactly as it should be because we, in our infinite diversity, reflect the infiniteness of The One (God).